@FrithlstockFest Family #Music #Festival In aid of @CHSW #charity

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What NOT to say

Some people responded very strangely to the news, when you first tell them. Most people would be shocked, or worried, or both, but some people … Some people would totally ignore it. Like you’ve never never said it. Or they’d act like “I have cancer” is a normal thing to say. Or worse, some people would mark that as the end of the conversation. “Ok, well, I got to go,” they’d say hurriedly. Or they’d change the subject immediately. The news would just send them directly into fight or flight mode, and they’d start running. It’s such awful news, the worst ever, that there’s bound to be some inappropriate responses to it.

Do not ignore them. Do not stop calling them because suddenly you don’t know what to say. Do not try to avoid them in social situations because you are uncomfortable.

• Go up to them. Call them. E-mail them. Tell them, first, that you heard about the cancer. Tell them second that you think it sucks and you’re sorry to hear about it. • Don’t talk about your uncle who died of the same cancer. Don’t talk about how your whole family has had cancer, and you’ll probably die of it, too. Don’t talk about how many people die of it every year. Don’t talk about death. • Don’t talk about how you once got diagnosed with pneumonia, so you can understand what it’s like. No you can’t. Don’t try. Tell them you can’t even imagine what it’s like to go through something like this. • Do not talk about the alternative medicine that you read about in Crazy Monthly, that is sure to cure them of their disease. Don’t tell them that their treatment isn’t good for them, and that lot’s of people end up dying from the treatments, or that chemotherapy is just a big conspiracy between the government and the pharmaceutical companies, etc., etc. Don’t tell them how they got it. Just stop. They don’t need to hear about it. • If they are sad about it, don’t tell them that they shouldn’t be sad. They have a right to be sad, or exhausted, or whatever it is they feel. Don’t tell them what to do. • Ask them about the treatment – then listen to the response. It might be a long response, with a lot of medical terms. Listen anyway. It’s all they probably think about right now, anyway, so just let them talk about it. • Give them a hug, or a handshake, or a pat on the back. Touch them somehow. Tell them that you’re concerned for them, and you’re looking forward to them being a cancer survivor. • Do not give them the line, “if there’s anything I can do just tell me…”, unless you are absolutely certain that you would do ANYTHING for them. Just don’t say it. Because most people don’t mean it. If you really want to do something for them, come up with the idea yourself, and then do it. Send them flowers, or a book, or bring over dinner for them.

@ThePetesDragons #Charity #GardenParty in #Exmouth #Devon on Sunday

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Swimmers needed for @RosannaOgden #charity sponsored swim @heartresearchuk

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It is not the critic who counts or the man who points out how the strong man stumbles

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Until we meet again

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BB King passed away at the age of 89 One of the most awesome on-stage blues guitar performances ever

BB King passes away at the age of 89. So sad for the world! May he Rest in Peace!
One of the most Awesome On-Stage Blues Guitar Performances ever seen

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