I’m leaving because you never asked me to stay …

We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and in spite of True Romance magazines we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely at least, not all the time but essentially, and finally, alone. Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.

Leave something for someone but don’t leave someone for something.

We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there. Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.

Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking. So I’m leaving because you never asked me to stay

Depression is a painfully slow, crashing death …

Depression is a painfully slow, crashing death. Mania is the other extreme, a wild roller coaster run off its tracks, an eight ball of coke cut with speed. It’s fun and it’s frightening as hell. Some patients – bipolar type 1 – experience both extremes, other – bipolar type II – suffer depression almost exclusively. But the “mixed state,” the mercurial churning of both high and low, is the most dangerous, the most deadly. Suicide too often results from the impulsive nature and physical speed of psychotic mania coupled with depression’s paranoid self-loathing.

Compared to bipolar’s magic, reality seems a raw deal. It’s not just the boredom that makes recovery so difficult, it’s the slow dawning pain that comes with sanity – the realization of illnesss, the humiliating scenes, the blown money and friendships and confidence. Depression seems almost inevitable. The pendulum swings back from transcendence in shards, a bloody, dangerous mess. Crazy high is better than crazy low. So we gamble, dump the pills, and stick it to the control freaks and doctors. They don’t understand, we say. They just don’t get it. They’ll never be artists.

I know the empathy borne of despair; I know the fluidity of thought, the expansive, even beautiful, mind that hypomania brings, and I know this is quicksilver and precious and often it’s poison. There has always existed a sort of psychic butcher who works the scales of transcendence, who weighs out the bloody cost.

… because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to #smile about

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.

As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about

I believe in the future, for I have seen yesterday, and I’m still alive

I am clumsy, drop glasses and drink too much coffee on Monday afternoons. I mess up the laundry, don’t answer my phone as always on silent and blame the world when something goes wrong. I think I have a dream, but most of the days I’m still sleeping. The grass is cut. It smells like strawberries. Today I finished four books and cleaned my drawers.

I want to make coming home your favourite part of the day. I want to leave tiny little words lingering in your mind, on nights when you’re far away and can’t sleep. I want to make everything around us beautiful; make small things mean a little more. Make you feel a little more. A little better, a little lighter. The coffee is warm, this cup is yours. I want to be someone you can’t live without.

I believe in the future, for I have seen yesterday, and I’m still alive. I laugh a lot and I believe in the beauty in small things, like the coffee in the morning with someone you love, road-trips to nowhere and oceans. People fascinate me because I can’t seem to understand them, and they rarely understand me. The way they can live and breathe and simply be, when I can’t even look myself in the mirror without questioning every line. I remember every single word from conversations and I have a whole box of unsent letters to myself and every person I’ve ever met.

In 2006 I moved to create the life I wanted to live and find the person I wanted to be. After a year in solitude with my mind and my music, I had beautiful conversations with strangers and walked what felt like foreign streets every day. I learned how to build my home in my music real love and things important to just me.  But now I just want to mean something to someone because every person I meet mean the world to me and I just wish to belong. I just wish to be me and be loved for that. I still don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way, and I’m giving my life to this journey.

It might not always be easy, but it will always be beautiful

Ashley Madison’s 40 million registered users – do they really deserve sympathy?

An adulterer is a man who has sexual intercourse with a woman he is not married to, either a married woman or one who is engaged to be married. A woman who did the same thing was an adulteress. Adultery is fornication.

Britain’s top divorce lawyer Ayesha Vardag, who has represented tycoons, heirs and royalty has said that cheating spouses caught out in the Ashley Madison hack may have simply been seeking affection and companionship “after years of abuse, alienation or rejection”. ….. !!! She has also said – the discovery of a partner cheating should not always mean a relationship has to end.

A heartbroken wife whose husband was outed as a Ashley Madison cheat has started the first divorce proceedings in Britain linked to the infidelity website

But ……. let’s just all take a deep breath and reflect on what has become of us, as people. A website was created so that married people could easily cheat on each other, and then a reported 40 million people signed up, and then angry hackers stole their data and released it to the world out of righteous vengeance. And now the moral crowd gathers to shame and condemn. To point fingers. To search for spouse’s emails with breath clenched tight. This is the sad state of modern affairs (OK, yes, pun intended). This is the quiet desperation of the masses. This is the pathetic morass of our culture.

But also ask yourself this …if your married and have no respect for your partner or there feeling’s and think Ashley Madison is for you – then … doesn’t your partner have a right to find out? Because when you truly love someone, you don’t hurt or cause them pain by playing away or flirting, or sex-texting. If you can’t be honest you don’t deserve someone like your partner in your life ….


#charity @LauraWitjens friend Sam Lenselink #fundraising for @macmillancancer

A week before his 17th birthday one of Laura Witjens son’s friends was diagnosed with an aggressive neuroendocrine cancer.

To raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support and to make sure that this boy is not the only one returning to school in September with a bald head, Sam and some of his friends decided to shave their hair off.

Laura said:

Please show your respect for the people who work so hard to support those suffering with cancer. Every penny goes directly to the organisation and will benefit the many needing your help. Thank you so much for those who have already donated – it truly is much appreciated!

Queen Elizabeth @BritishMonarchy becomes Britain’s longest-ruling monarch after serving 63yrs

After 63 years on the throne, Queen Elizabeth next month becomes Britain’s longest-ruling monarch but there is little prospect of her stepping aside, as other ageing European crowned heads have done, in favour of her son, Charles.

Those close to Elizabeth – who on Sept. 9 takes the long-service record from her great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria – say the 89-year-old has no intention of succumbing to the European fashion for abdication. That means Prince Charles, 66, already a record-holder himself as Britain’s longest-serving heir apparent, will have to wait longer still until he becomes king.

“I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family,”

Elizabeth said in a 21st birthday broadcast to the nation in 1947.

The milestone of overtaking Victoria has already prompted speculation as to whether Elizabeth might step aside. When asked if abdication were a possibility, a senior palace source said: “Life means life”.

The religious overtones to a British coronation are deeply symbolic for Elizabeth, who as queen is Supreme Governor of the Church of England.

The Netherlands’ Queen Beatrix announced shortly before her 75th birthday in January 2013 that she would abdicate in favour of her son Willem-Alexander. In June last year, Spain’s once popular King Juan Carlos abdicated at the age of 76 in favour of his son Felipe after a series of corruption scandals in the royal family.

Photographs charting the Queen’s 63 years on the throne will go on show on the day she becomes the longest reigning monarch next month.

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